Going Fishing

Upon my arrival to Liamsan surf lodge I was handed the keys to a shiny blue moped.

If you want to get anywhere on Bali you need a moped. It is by far the best way to get around the island. Fast, cheap and easy, IF you know the tricks. When you arrive I would recommend renting one through your accommodation organizers as they probably have some standing deal with a trusted local firm and can help you with any issues that can arise. But if they don’t then there should be a handful of rental places within a stones throw from wherever in Denpasar you happened to be standing.

This one is mine, I’ve nicknamed her Old Faithful.

Ain’t she a beauty!

After handing me the keys my old friend Patrik, a burly haired and bright eyed guy that I met up north some time back, grabbed a harpoon gun from the shelf and said with a dangerous smile.

“We are going fishing!”

♦

I would like you to imagine a kicked-over anthill.

Now instead of ants, picture tiny cars and motorbikes, driving around, about and in between each other, a mishmash of sound and color, way too close for comfort. Add to that loose dogs, free roaming chickens and kids playing in the street. Now place yourself in the middle of it all, at the front of the line at a red light about to turn green and you have a decent image of my first day in Kerobokan.

It is a hectic, a bedlam circus of chaos and unpredictability. Or at least it felt like to me it that first day.

I’ve mentioned before that I do not have a license, so on that day I had a top-of-the-line introductory course that could be summarized something like this.

“Twist the thing to get the WRROOOM.

Squise the other one to not go BOOM.

And here in Bali we drive on the left side, now off you go!”

That was about it.

Slap, dack, smack on the butt cheeks and off I went into traffic. Like a foal to the racetracks... or the slaughterhouse I was not sure.

Luckily for me, all the rules here are are bent to serve the motorbikes. The No. 1 priority of traffic police and street design alike seems to be to get as many mopeds to move as unhindered as possible at all times. On bigger streets there is room to maneuver but as the lines build up the motos always percolate through to the street light. That means that as soon as it turns you better hustle your muscle or get honked.

The use of the horn is implicit to driving in these conditions, not that people over do it, no. They use it for communication. A deceivingly simple morse-code for signals. So far I’ve managed to decipher the most basic ones.

Two short squeaks seem to mean something like.

“Eey, dude! Pay attention!”

And one long honk I am pretty sure means.

“ASSHOLE!”

Should there happened to be a stand still on a smaller road you can always just slither around the cars where possible, driving on the sidewalks is not just allowed, but recommended (I’ve asked a cop). Fluidity, like I said, is paramount. Anything to enhance the flow of traffic.

Did I say that nobody walks in this city? There really is no need to when gas is so cheap (the government subsidizes it... that and cigarettes, both probably contribute equally to the lack of pedestrians).

So the biggest challenge facing new drivers in Denpasar is learning to go with the unending flow of traffic that adapts to any circumstance, finding ways around every obstacle.

Like Bruce Lee said,

“Be like water my friends.”

♦

♦

Bali is a majority Hindu nation in the middle of a mostly Muslim part of the world.

Every day there you will inevitably see someone leaving small incensed offerings in woven grass baskets. They place these in doorways, at street corners, in the middle of intersections, pretty much everywhere. I don’t really know their purpose, but on me at least, they have a calming effect.

Something that you are unlikely to see however, is a car accident. I haven’t seen a single one since I got here. Or perhaps an even bigger miracle is that I haven’t caused one myself.

Perhaps the mercy of Hindu dieties extends to clumpsy foreingers as well.

Whatever the reason we reached the sea everybody stil in one piece if perhaps a little shaken, but that is a story for another day.

To be continued...

#Bali #Fishing #oldfaithful